The virgin..to sober sex.

Sex and drugs were one in the same for me. Both made me feel like heaven, both distracted me, and both were a constant need. When I think about sex I think about being high out of my mind and going with the flow, no emotions no embarrassment no awkwardness. You can see why this would be a problem for somebody now living in sobriety. A BIG Problem.

Sex hasn’t been a huge thought on my mind since treatment (thanks to a heavy dose of antideppresants daily) but those occasions where it does cross my mind terrify me to say the least. Being only 19, I wish I could say my list of past partners is short and sweet, but everybody who has faced an addiction in their lives can probably understand why that wasn’t the case. 

I’m about to say something I never never never imagined would come from me, but I feel drawn to a promise ring. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t intend on becoming a new again Virgin, I just feel such a strong connection to my God since my recovery that it feels right. 

Sobriety has taught me how to respect myself, which is a completely new idea for me. And I love the way it feels. I want the next time I have sex (the first time I soberly have sex) is with somebody who I love and loves me in return. I can’t take back the way I let people treat me in the past, but I sure as hell can set a standard now. 
Namaste bitches 

6 thoughts on “The virgin..to sober sex.”

  1. I like that idea (promise ring)! It’s so true, one may have NOTHING but if you have your self respect you’ll always have something. Like the song goes, “they can’t take that away from me!” And you have to teach people how to treat you, by creating boundaries and accepting or rejecting their behavior towards you. Always remember, you are a precious gem. That’s sounds stupid but I mean it, and not in an “I’m a princess, bow to me” way, but rather in a “if you can’t treat me nice you can fuck off” way. I hate to sound like a middle-aged lady (I am one, but that’s not the point), but if I had discovered myself –as you are doing– when I was at your age, if I had realized my own worth and power and potential, I would have RULED THE WORLD. Instead, it took me until my mid-thirties to realize how fabulous I am, so my kingdom (perhaps queendom??) is much smaller. You inspire me:)

    Liked by 2 people

  2. “I sure as hell can set a standard now. ” HELL YES. And also, what SuburbanBetty said. She is speakin’ the truth.
    I didn’t get the whole “set a standard” thing for years, and had to have some ugly things happen in early sobriety, but I did finally sort it out and get my man-picker fixed. Standards. Self-respect. Magical words.
    curvy

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes! Love this. As you read last night, I’m only beginning my sobriety journey, but I’ve been on THIS one for a while. I’ve dated a few people in the last year & haven’t slept with them – it felt great! Unfortunately, I don’t think they were willing to respect my choice to wait, but I’m glad I did, because here I am, still single! I like the idea of a promise ring too 🙂 Go girl x

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a comment